Letter to my alternate self (February, 2026)

Hola one of my facourite people in the multiverse, the less funny of the both of us (you know it's the truth). It's been a while since I wrote to you and I'd want to share some of the things that have gone down lately.

I'd start with the grandiose one first. I've found a motivation for getting into politics actively. It all started with a single thought: the eradication of onions. I figured that if I was to become president, it would be simple enough to sign an executive order banning onions in the entire country. It would be my first act after entering office. We both hate onions with the passion of a billion burning stars and eradicating them would benefit everyone. To make the change easier on people, I would create a competition to get people to find better alternatives to it. Reward money would be 500 million naira (I know, I'm benevolent). If I'm successful in banning it from Nigeria, I'd move on to step two which is to ban it from earth-prime completely. If I had the right powers, I would create a black hole whose sole purpose is sucking in and destroying onions.

And now, on to less grandiose things. I've been reading a book on how the universe could possibly end. I'm guessing that the same laws would also apply to your universe. In that case, I have both good news and very very bad news. I'd start with the bad news first. The universe likely ends in some violent ways. Very violent too. The good news is that we'd be dead long before then, so yayyy. The first likely cause is the universe's expansion stopping and then reversing course. That likely doesn't start for another 10 billion years, so we're pretty good. Next was called heat death and at least it didn't mean that we all burn to death. Just means that entropy keeps decreasing to a point where it's unlikely to pick up again and nothing can get created. Though I did learn that in that state, there's a slight possibility of the universe being recreated again, so yay I guess. And then, the big rip. This was the scarier of the three as it involves dark energy which has been forcing to universe to keep accelerating, and after maybe 188 billion years, it becomes more catastrophic. Galaxies get pushed away from each other. The moon leaves us. The earth explodes. Any surviving human being gets blown up by the spaces pushing their atoms away from each other. I still have two more causes to go, but we're safe for the time being.

On the other hand, I think I've forgotten how to flirt with women. I did get good at it at some point. But now, I just end up discussing the universe ending with people, or whatever manga that I'm reading at the point. Though new manga more often than not ends being something I discuss with our Ojou-sama (how's she doing in your universe?) than with new people. I'm inching ever slowly back to the days when I had to google how to flirt with people. Who knows, maybe that happens. Or maybe I become like prime Aphrodite and sway up everyone with my absolute charm. But it's looking like googling flirting skills again will win.

Oh, I started playing The Sims 4 tonight. I'd been looking for games to play since I'd been in a slump for over a month. I started downloading Where Winds Meet since Eevee recommended it. Since it's over a 100gb large, I picked up The Sims instead. I created a non-binary character who's into both men and women, can get pregnant. I also added traits to make them be also polyamorous, like us. So far, I've flirted with almost every Sim that I've met and come close to my character getting their first kiss. I also got them as a job as a thief and I'm curious to see how that plays out. Stay tuned to find out! I'm going to keep exploring and see how many wives and husbands I can get with this character. In hindsight, I should not have set the option to allow them get pregnant.

I tried ramen tonight and hated it. I got it almost a month ago and decided to have it tonight. I knew I wasn't going to like it from the moment I opened it up. It reeked of onions! Onions! I don't believe in wasting food but I hated every bite of it. Why did they have to ruin what would have otherwise been a great meal. Onions ruin everything. I know you can relate. Don't worry. When I'm done wiping it out from my universe, I'm coming over to yours to save you and all the inhabitants of earth-beta from the plague that is onions.

I started watching more relaxing anime recently. Decided to branch out of Shonen for a bit. I started with Apothecary Diaries, and it was pretty chill. It's fun watching Maomao trying to experiment with as many poisons as she can. I loved the friendships that she forms with the different consorts in the emperor's palace. I then went from it to Delicious in Dungeon. This follows a party trying to save one of their member's sister from the belly of a dragon before she gets digested and well, dead. Each episode follows hem finding new monsters in the dungeon and different ways to prepare and eat them. It's basically a less horny version of Food Wars. You should get into them. We both know One Piece is supreme, but it's fun to try new things too.

I've also been having weird dreams lately. Started out with being made a manager at work. It's been tricky explaining to people why I consider this a nightmare. Its the most anxious that a dream has made me feel recently. Woke up with my heart racing. And then another weird dream where I finally found a apartment but the steps were broken and there was a gap where one of the landings should have been. Worst part was only finding out about the issues after I'd moved in. I remember watching Dr Strange and The Multiverse of Madness recently and one thing they discussed was the the main Strange's dreams were his multiversal counterparts' realities. If my dreams have been your realities, then that must really suck for you. I can't imagine how drained you've been while working as a manager. I'm hoping that it's not the case. Sending you a lot of hugs if it is.

Oh, in more women related news, I should gist you about some of my weirder encounters from the past year. I met one women who wanted to come to my house roughly two hours after she matched with me on Bumble. It was pretty weird to me. What if I was a serial killer? I know that I'm not, but just imagine. Also had one person who only ever reached out to me to ask if I wanted her over. She never tried to sustain a conversation that didn't involve knowing where I lived. And the weirdest was the person who only tried to talk to me in the leadup to trying to ask for money. Culminated in her asking for 450k to clear her goods at customs which i just ignored.

I should probably end here so I don't nerd out too much about universe ending stuff. Plus I need to focus on my plans to wipe out onions from the multiverse. Can't wait for you to write me back. You've not done so in ages and I'm starting to feel lonely. I love you. I mean I love me. We both love each other. Until next time.