My love for older women

So, close friends probably know that I have a thing for older women. I’ve been this way since 2012 at least. How much was I into older women you may ask? Well, enough that I’ve found some people who were definitely older than 40 attractive.

Where it all began

I didn’t have a lot of experience with girls growing up. Probably something to do with going to a boys-only boarding school and spending most of my time indoors when back home on vacation. I had a number of crushes while in primary/secondary school. But talking to the crushes was impossible then so nothing ever materialized.

Got into university and actually started talking to girls more. Became a bit easier to do seeing as I was usually around them. Had a lot of acclimation to do in first year so made a few friends back then.

Second year was when I started having a type, an older kind of woman type. I’d started visiting a lot of girls more, most of whom were in the fellowship I attended but started to find out that the ones I was more drawn to were older than I was. Not old old but old still. Still not sure if I found out that tidbit after the fact or if I was drawn to them because of it.

Why?

First reason — I didn’t think I was good enough for anyone to rely on me in a relationship back then. Was stuck in the space where I felt that guys had to be the emotional backbone in a relationship and I was not that kind of person. I’d rather my partner handle all the major decisions. Didn’t feel that I’d be able to make good ones.

I also felt that they’d know more about how to navigate relationships considering that I was a complete noob. Like it would have been safer to go into one with someone who already had the experience than to let my nooby nature ruin one with someone younger

Slowly moved on from most of my second year older flames except for one who’s currently my best friend. You’d have thought that I’d have moved on from my infatuation with older people by then but, nope.

Transcendence

Transcendence feels weird but it’s what I do so roll with it. After school, my interests returned to my age bracket for a while and only really picked up by the time I joined Andela. Not sure what triggered it but I’d moved from being attracted to people older than me within a 5 year range to being super duper attracted to people that had ≥ 10 years on me. Had one long running crush on someone who’d been working before I even got into secondary school.

Problem with being into older ladies in Nigeria is that the probability of anything happening is so high, like 0.00000000000001% high that you’d have to slow down so you don’t take all the available ones. Been trying to stay around my age bracket or younger but can’t usually go lower than a 4 year gap. Anything younger than that feels too young, like super duper young but that’s what you get when you’re wired for old.