Some embarrassing stories about me

So, I tend to feel that I’m a pretty weird guy but I’ve had a number of weird stuff happen over the years that I’d share today. Depending on how close you are to me, you’ve probably heard some of them but for those who are as far as the Andromeda galaxy is from Milky Way, this should be an eye opener.

The day I googled how to flirt

I met this one girl on Tinder last year and while we were getting to know ourselves better, she suggested playing Truth or Dare. Progressed to a point where she asked me to flirt with her and your homeboy had no idea how to, having never really flirted with someone before that point. Homeboy went with the next best thing, Google. I was able to get some tips and proceeded to come up with a message I shared with her. I don’t know if she liked it but I tried. Might have been a travesty if she’d asked me to do that on a call or in person. I wouldn’t have had time to look it up. Might have just told her that she looked beautiful and moved on.

The day I looked for a friend at the cinemas

I went to see Avengers Endgame with a close friend last year. When we met up, she had a white t-shirt on but put on a sweater while we were seeing the movie. After we were done, I went to use a restroom and came out and couldn’t find her. I tried scanning for her around where I’d left her but nothing. I walked past and went to a different part of the cinema to continue my search and was on the verge of calling her on my phone before I saw her around where I’d left her. You might be wondering how it’s possible but sweet-boy is bad with faces and relies on other features to identify people. I’d been looking for her with a white t-shirt on that I forgot that she’d put on a sweater. She teased me about it, instead of you know, getting angry that I couldn’t recognize her which might have happened if we were dating.

Extra: once almost got hit by a slow moving car while trying to get to a girl I’d mistaken for someone else because they had the same braids style on. They were almost of the same build too.

The day I went to a wrong wedding

A friend once invited me for a wedding back in school. Normally, I’d avoid stuff like this but I probably wanted to go on an adventure plus I liked her so guess that’s why I did. Got directions from her and should have been a simple in and out case but nope, I was in for a long walk.

Had gotten to town and in my encompassing wisdom, assumed I’d be able to find the venue without asking for help. After lots of steps covered (Fitbit would have been proud), I arrived at a wedding but turned out to be a wrong wedding. Stood around awkwardly for a bit as is my custom before moving on. Guess I didn’t account for the fact that multiple people could have weddings on Saturdays. Your friend here isn’t sure he even ate free wedding rice. Eventually found the right one but should probably have had that rice but it goes against my gentlemanly nature. *Rice…*

The day we followed the wrong bus on our way to Rufus and Bees

I’d gotten to a point at Andela where I’d been deemed trustworthy enough to handle tasks. I just wanted to relax and be taken care off till I got a call from Ugonna prior to our trip and was asked to help her out with it. No biggie, I just had to be in charge of one of the buses. Didn’t have to do a lot, just be in the bus when it left.

Should have been a simple trip, but no, something had to happen. We’d been behind a different bus and kept following it assuming that their driver knew the direction. Things were pretty chill, we were relaxing until we’d gotten as far as Ajah. Got across to a colleague in the bus we were following and they mentioned being at the venue. So, which bus had we exactly been following all this time and where was it leading us to? Narnia?

This should have been a big break to display some leadership skills and get nominated for president (not that I wanted to be president)later but nope, I was leading my charges to a Narnia. Bye bye presidential aspirations, hello stare down from Ugonna when she found out. We eventually found our way there after telling the driver the location. Turns out he knew how to get there but we’d been following the age old tradition of following the bus ahead of us in the convoy.

The day I decided I wouldn’t dance again

I was 5 years old and my parents took me and my immediate junior brother to a birthday party. The MC decided to have a dance battle between boys and girls

so we each got paired with someone from the opposite gender. Think I was going to be the last up. My brother had his and did well but when it got to my turn, I switched things up a bit. I think I’d recently watched a martial arts movie before going to the party and all my dance moves were surprise surprise, martial arts moves. I have no idea how to dance and resorted to that. Felt embarrassed afterwards and decided I would never dance again. Tried once on my birthday in final year but was also awkward.

Side note: I enjoy watching dances from the Step Up franchise. Not knowing how to dance shouldn’t stop me from appreciating good dance sequences. Probably throw in a dash of imagination showing me doing said sequences.

Side side note: was in a calisthenics team in SS1 back in Kings’ College. We had to do a performance during our inter-house sports for the session. That’s as close to dancing as I came and I was pretty much robotic in it. Can’t remember if we eventually did the routine or if it was cancelled but still surprised that I wasn’t dropped early enough

Other Notable Mentions

The day my belt probably failed me

We had a party with QC girls during our inaugural acculturation program. That was probably the first time I attended a party with them. But the trousers I had on was sagging and the belt I had on wasn’t helping matters. Spent time during the party holding up my trousers so it wouldn’t fall off.

There’s probably a number of other embarrassing stuff I’ve had happen in the past but can’t be sharing too much (read: can’t really remember them now). Could add more later. Could not. Might need to focus on some world domination plans involving a weather machine. Ciao.