That Sparkle in Her Eyes

Her eyes. That’s what drew me in, eyes that shined like the sun striking a bald man’s head in the middle of summer. There was something in there that called out to me, more enticing than a siren’s song, more alluring than a thousand pearls.

Must be weird seeing me wax poetic about a girl, I mean, I like them and my friends know I like them but she was different (they all are but still). Observed her from my seat at KFC. She was two tables away, talking with a friend that was pretty but not as captivating. Did what I could to steal glances and not stare. I’m already an awkward person, so why make things weirder than they should be. Pixie had suggested taking myself out once or twice a month so I could explore other places that weren’t my room (found a new spider) or the dining. And have to admit that it was sound advice. Had forgotten how many beautiful people were out there. There’s only so much you can get out of viewing people’s pictures or stories on WhatsApp.

They’re almost done eating and all I have left to go by are what I’ve gleaned from my glances. She also has a gap tooth, which is like a deal sealer for me. And then there’s that awkward smile that she has, like she’s trying to hold herself from fully shining her teeth and the resulting effect ends up being endearing. So far so good, they’ve not noticed me. Not like I’d know what to say if she came over and asked why I’d been looking. Could tell her that she’s pretty but maybe that would come off as sexist. Not gone halfway through my ice cream and most of it has already melted. That’s what you get when you’re a slow eater like myself.

Old me would have run through a number of fantasy scenarios about how I’d ask her out if I was less cowardly but I decide to consider her as one of those people I’d probably never get close to. Not a bad thing in itself and doesn’t stop me from admiring her. They get up to leave and our eyes meet as she walks by. It’s just for a second and I try to turn away as quickly as I can. Nothing feels weird about it which is like a huge improvement for me. I think about looking back but decide not to. Best to let the work of art leave and enjoy what’s left of my liquid ice cream.

I don’t particularly feel bad about not talking to her since it’s not theoretically possible to go after every beautiful girl, not like I’m the kind of person who goes after them in the first place. I think back to when I tried to tell J my feelings back in school, how my heart raced as I walked to her hostel, so much that I thought it would burst out of my chest like the alien in Alien and how it only calmed down after I’d decided not to and walked to the VC’s car park. Definitely not the kind of guy that would freely talk with girls they just meet. Trying to improve though. The worst that they can do is to say no or maybe throw in a slap or two if my unrefined flirting skills came into play.

I walk outside and run into them again, probably waiting for their Uber or Bolt and contemplate if I should go talk to her. Would have been easier if she was alone. Scratch that, she’d probably have thought I was a creep. Assume that she’d probably just come out to unwind with her friend and might not have been open to random guys trying to flirt with her. I steal one final glance and turn to walk in the opposite direction, knowing I’d probably not see that cute smile again.