Whats it’s like to have a daughter

I’m sitting on a fence, and watching kids play. Just watching them run around playing tag and whatnot. My eyes follows her 100% of the time. I’m worried she might get seriously injured or worse. Every time she trips, I move from the fence almost immediately, but I’m usually stopped in my tracks, as she gets up, dusts herself off and keeps on running. Sure there are times when she might get injured and feel quite a lot of pain, but they rarely ever happen. It’s almost 6pm, and I should be getting her back to her mum, but I decide to let her have some more fun. It’s not always that I get to watch her play due to my hectic work schedule. But when I do have time, I cherish it a lot.

A lot of you would be wondering at this point — when did Kachi get a child? Or pretty much convinced that this is just one of my made up stories designed just to get views on my page and recommendations — but I’ve always been pretty secretive, and only very few people know some really rich details about me. So, I’m going to indulge you for a bit about how Daisy (real name withheld) came to be.

After I defended my final year project, I stayed back a couple of weeks to make sure I didn’t have any outstanding issue, like missing scripts, that would delay my graduation. We weren’t much in school then, save for some Vet and Pharmacy students who operated a different academic calendar than the rest of the school. My days then were pretty much boring — wake up, have my bath and take breakfast before heading out to my department, where I would stay for a couple of hours before being told to come back the next day. I usually spent the rest of the day with my friends who also stayed back, before deciding to return to my room around 9 in the night. At least that’s what people around me thought. I had this really cute friend whose name was Skye (names also withheld) who had been in a separate department, and stayed in the only female hostel around mine that session. I always went to see her before I went to my room. Those of you who know me would be trying to figure out who exactly she is, based on your knowledge about who stayed in Nkrumah that year who might be connected to me in any way. Good luck trying. I met her on a 2go chatroom in my second year when I was addicted to the stuff. It took a while but we eventually connected.

So, back to my recap, we would always meet under the tree at the back of the PG hostel, when I came around that late, talk for a long while before I eventually went back to sleep. She was really good company. It continued for a while, till I went over to her room one evening. Her room was at one of the extreme ends on the last floor in Nkrumah. We talked for a while, then something happened, and we eventually slept together. I guess we didn’t really draw any attention because people weren’t really around, or people did notice, and chose not to say anything. A great deal of you reading this would probably be shocked at this point, I know. But it happened. We barely talked about it after that day, and acted like it didn’t happen. We traveled shortly after that, her to Port — Harcourt, and me, back to Lagos.

We did bring up what happened that evening once in a while, and we both had mixed feelings about it, but it didn’t affect our friendship in any way, until she called me one evening to tell me she was pregnant. I initially thought she was pulling one on me, till I heard her sobbing over the phone, and it began to hit me. She didn’t know what to do, and neither did I. We considered getting an abortion, but she was scared about the complications that could occur, and was even more scared about what her parents would say or do to her if they found out. She told her parents eventually, and they hated me for it, and tried to get her to stop talking to me. Wouldn’t blame them. I did just get their daughter pregnant, and I hadn’t started working so I wouldn’t have been able to assist her financially. At that time I was already slipping into one of the worst depression episodes I’d suffered prior to last year. She was eventually going to have the baby. We saw during our convocation but could barely speak, considering how her parents guarded her. I tried going to apologize but they wouldn’t listen, and told me off while causing a scene. I tried to act normal the rest of the day, till I eventually got back to Lagos. My depression episodes were already becoming more frequent. Every time I called, and she told me of how badly she was treated or how people around her looked at her with disdain, they would either get worse if I was already having one, or trigger a new one

She eventually gave birth while we were serving, and I couldn’t go near the baby initially. Guilt had really overwhelmed me then. Eventually got around to seeing Daisy about a month after, and when I did, just one look at her and I felt so happy. The moment I held her in my hands, I didn’t want to let her go. Actually cried that day, being emotional and all. We worked out when I would get to see her, so her parents wouldn’t know. They’d already put her through a whole lot, because of my, sometimes barely acknowledging Daisy, but she’d been putting up with it. I kept seeing Daisy at times and locations that Skye would pick, and eventually bonded with her.

Back to the present and Daisy’s done playing. She runs to hug me, so I can take her home. I look into her eyes and in that instant, wonder what would happen when she grows older. Would she accept me for bringing her into this world, where her own grandparents despise her being? Or would she accept me regardless? Time would tell, I guess. Until now, she’d been a secret I’d protected dearly. Didn’t know how people would react to it, so I kept it to myself. Kept it from even my best friend, who’s probably the person that knows the most about me. I know she’ll be pretty shocked reading this too, probably more shocked than anyone else. Not close to my family, so it wouldn’t really bother me how they’d take it. But I really just wanted to let people know about Daisy. Maybe, one day, those around me would get to see her, and see just how lovely she really is. Having a daughter is a bit fun, she’s cute and all, really. And I wonder when I’ll get to form a family with her and Skye. That’s a story for another day.